It may not seem like it, but your voice is the most powerful tool you have when it comes to how to attract a girl.
May it be at the bar, university, coffee shop, streets, or wherever, it would always suck seeing this beautiful girl walk right past you just because you hadn't dared to talk to her. You had that 3-second moment where your eyes met, and you knew deep in your gut that if you had just approached her, she probably wouldn't turn away. But instead, the cat got your tongue yet againand both of you walked the opposite direction and felt the same thing: stinging disappointment. We get it. Girls can be pretty intimidating to approach especially if they are surrounded by their friends which they most often are.
How old am I:
Color of my iris:
I’ve got cold blue eyes but I use colored contact lenses
You cannot choose who attracts you and, due to our own psychology, you would almost immediately become disinterested in someone if they openly expressed such affection too soon.
To be fair, some methods are good at getting you off your ass and getting you out of your own way. The answer to all of my problems. The uncertainty is what makes the whole experience ten times more exciting.
Maybe the other person comes from a background that preaches hatred against homosexuality, which will make you feel even worse.
How to talk to girls
I started having much more success after I stopped using their methods. When I was a kid, my parents told me that a girl I liked in kindergarten also liked me back.
Not even to themselves. Luckily, I realized this after less than a year and without spending any money. While the only money I ever spent was for a copy of The Gamethere are people out there who have spent and continue to spend thousands of dollars on live events and seminar.
You walk up and talk to them. Then he rejected it, and his eyes began to blaze. Think of it as an online hub of websites and forums where a bunch of guys teach other guys how to get girls. As an idealistic idea, yeah, sure it makes sense. Why do people always play games? Seducing is attracting quality people through shared interest and social dynamics. The mindset with which you approach talking to girls is what makes the difference.
The way you say it is what matters. This was an outragein my opinion. Even your own brain disagrees with our desires. If you never lose, how can you learn to win?
Big deal. In fact, both of them are interested in one another and things are heating up. Yet we keep relying on our deepest desires to drive our thoughts and actions, even though they completely suck. And that level of confidence is attractive. But guess what? Instead of focusing on wordplay, manipulation, and tricksI started focusing on growing self-esteemlearning social skills, and just talking to people. The PUA community teaches you to seem cool and confident and dominant, instead of actually being cool and confident and dominant.
Like most of self-help, it is a band-aid solution.
Getting their attention: what to talk to girls about
Later in the show, Robin uses that same tactic to repel someone. From the inside, it is a surprisingly close community of strangers with methods that… sometimes work.
But if you think about it, these concepts will make things easier for you. Not only that, but we have a lot of natural biases that make all of this worse. Or you can go over to those exact girls and say that exact same line and they will label you as the worst type of a creep. All of us assume we know the right answer to these questions, but each of us will reply to these questions differently. On the outside, this may sound like the most ridiculous thing ever that never works.
No one can accept that. I mean, fuck free will if you can be completely manipulated by anyone, anytime, anyplace, right?
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We may claim we want something, only to hate it once we get it. You can attribute this kind of wishful thinking to my youthful ignorance and misunderstanding of how the world works. All you do is [pick up women] every night. In a case where both people actually DO like each other equally, if one of them expresses too much affection too soon, it will make the other person suddenly like them less.
You would end up at the same place, constantly receiving the same amount of rejection, right to your face.
You can go over and say the worst pickup line of all time, and girls will love it. Anybody who knows anything about humans, our psychology, and social interactionswill know out of the gate that this is straight-up nonsense. Maybe only have a good conversation?
I know this because… I was one of those suckers. Sadly, others have not. In the book, journalist Neil Strauss inserts himself into the community and chronicles his experiences and observations. She gets approached all the time, so it was incomprehensible that there were guys out there scared to approach and talk to her. The former is attractive because of who he is ; the latter is attractive because of who he pretends to be.
Of course, I did. Just for this article, I dug up my copy of The Game which has been collecting dust for over 7 years.
I idolized Barney Stinson, made sure to tilt my body at just the right angle, made sure I had just the right excuse to talk to her, but… guess what? Do you find them attractive? The main reason guys have a hard time talking to girls is that they themselves make it hard. How hard can it be? Hint: It absolutely fucking is. I started preaching that, if you like someone, you should just come out and say it. For a moment, he appeared to take the advice to heart.
But a lot of adults, maybe even you, still believe this makes sense. This, in turn, makes the entire experience dull, repetitive, and annoying.
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To change this, you will need to go through a period which is going to be very uncomfortable for you. Pickup is just another form of self-help. You will need to get out of your comfort zone and do things that scare the absolute shit out of you. It happens spontaneously. People thought I was weird and rightfully so. I mean… you just talk to them. Every point above may seem like a slap in the face.
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Not only that, but you have to go through it over and over and over again. Accept the loss and move on. And the self-help industry sells hopes and dreams instead of actual solutions. Actually talking to girls is as straightforward as it can be. No matter how handsome or charismatic you are, most of the time you will face rejection.
The art of conversation: how to talk to girls
I chuckled nervously because… at the time, I was reading similar books. Or just have sex with them? This is what one of the girls in the group said. In an episode of Black Mirroronline dating has evolved to the point where you automatically know how long a certain relationship will last.
It makes you feel good for a while, but the underlying problems remain. You can either accept this and enjoy the process, or you can use PUA tactics to justify rejection because god forbid your feelings get hurt. But neither of us knew it because we both kept our mouths shut until we got older and grew apart. In the very first episodethe lead character Ted is on a first date with Robin, who is obviously interested in him. Do you want to marry them?